Gabriel 1; Craig 0

My husband never learns. He makes promises to Gabriel for stuff he'll do tomorrow, believing his own bullshit that he'll want to do it. Yesterday, he told Gabriel (five years old) he'd take him bowling, and Gabriel has been talking about it all day. Well, Craig slept in, so he had a late start to begin with. Then, it was a gorgeous day, and lucky for him, Gabriel likes to fish too. So, he told him that he'll take him fishing, and THEN bowling. So, after returning at dusk, and polishing off a steak dinner (during which Gabriel asked if we were going to have seconds because he was anticipating how much longer it would be before we left for the bowling alley), Craig realized there was a big boxing match on HBO. Straight from the pages of "Bad Parenting", and the chapter entitled "Enslaving Yourself To Your Child Through Bribery", the exchange went something like this:

Craig: "Mister (we've called him "Mister" since the day he was born, as if we knew our ranking even then), how about we go to the bowling alley tomorrow and we could stay twice as long!"
Gabriel: Crinkles his nose and shakes his head as if to say, "I don't think so".
C: "But Mister, we could stay a lot longer and have a lot more fun tomorrow!" Keep in mind, he's saying all this with a "Hey! I've got a GREAT IDEA!" tone of voice.
G: "I'd rather go tonight."
C: "You know what? Tomorrow, first, we could go to Home Depot and buy some wood and build that desk you want, and THEN, we could STILL go to the BOWLING ALLEY!"
G:"....I'd rather go tonight."
C: "But Mister, isn't that a better deal?"
G: "You promised we would go."
Now this whole time, I'm very annoyed, pointing out that if he keeps breaking promises, his kid will never believe anything he says, and SHAME SHAME SHAME FOR BRIBING HIM! But, he's a desperate man, and Bernard Hopkins is fighting tonight.
C: "Mister do you know what a "deal" is? Here's a good "deal". We could go bowling tonight, OR, we could go tomorrow, and go to Home Depot for some wood to build you a desk AND TOYS, and THEN we could go to the bowling alley too, and THEN get ice cream at Sonic. Isn't that a better deal?"
G: "I don't care, I want to go tonight."
C: "Mister listen. Which is better. We could build a fire and have hot chocolate tonight, and THEN go to the bowling alley tomorrow, AND go to Home Depot, AND eat ice cream at Sonic, OR... go bowling for a little bit tonight. Which would you rather do?
G: "Let's go bowling tonight, and then do all those other things tomorrow."
C: NO! THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS! WHICH IS A BETTER DEAL! DOING ALL THOSE THINGS TOMORROW AND HAVING HOT CHOCOLATE BY THE FIRE TONIGHT, OR, JUST GOING BOWLING TONIGHT FOR A FEW MINUTES. WHICH IS THE BETTER DEAL?"
G: Silent.
C: (Obviously encouraged by Gabriel's pause) "Doesn't that sound like a better deal? Doing ALL THOSE THINGS TOMORROW! GOING TO HOME DEPOT FOR WOOD TO BUILD TOYS AND GOING TO THE BOWLING ALLEY AND GETTING ICE CREAM AND HAVING HOT CHOCOLATE TONIGHT BY THE FIRE? OR... going bowling for a short time tonight and not getting to do all those other things at all. Which is the better deal?
G: (Smiling) ...ummm...going tomorrow?
C: YES! ISN'T THAT MUCH BETTER? ALLRIGHT! GOOD BOY, MISTER! THAT'S THE BEST DEAL!

Thank God I'm the one who stays home with this child. If we changed places, Gabriel would have a checkbook and keys to the city by the end of the week.